


Release the Bats

by Dierony



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hipster Jean, M/M, Pastel Goth Armin, Tags Are Hard, Teenage Dorks, Vampire!Armin, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3198374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dierony/pseuds/Dierony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean had no idea what he was getting into by asking out the quiet blond kid from class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Release the Bats

"Will you go out with me?"

Jean Kirchstein blurted out the statement as he was walking with (Read: Following) a certain Armin Arlert, deciding that if he didn't just come out and ask him, he would lose the courage and never be able to ask him out ever. So, heart in his throat, he had seized the moment and gone for his heart's desire...or something. Honestly, from where he was standing, it seemed closer to a creepy stalker coming onto their victim, but he had good intentions. Now, hopefully Armin would understand that.

Armin Arlert was considered Rose High's oddball: And that was something, considering some of their classmates. Jean figured at least twenty percent of their school would be accepted by any mental institution, not that Armin was crazy or anything. He was just, well...odd. Armin rarely talked, and when he did it was in a soft, lilting voice, and it was usually saying something very smart which is one of the reasons Jean was drawn (And slightly intimidated) by him: He was clearly intelligent, apparently at the top of his class in, well, everything.

The other thing was the clothes. Jean's attire was something his older sister Luka had once referred to as "That of a douchebag hipster," he remembered with a touch of bitterness, thinking of his closet at home, full of cigarette pants, patterned vests, and cardigans: His sisters just didn't appreciate fashion, which happened to be a contributing factor to Armin's reputation. Large black sweaters, usually accompanied by some sort of religious iconography, creepers, and weird combinations of goth and hippie jewelry: The kid had an interesting fashion sense. And man, could he pull it off, Jean thought, thinking of the boy swimming in one of his oversized sweaters which almost covered the dark short-shorts he would sometimes wear. Obviously he had fallen for him for more than just superficial reasons, but damn. In some of those outfits, he looked downright...he wouldn't say girly. More like androgynous. That's right, an adorable little androgynous goth kid. With a genius-level IQ that never talked. This was the person he had fallen for. Maybe he should re-think his life choices?

"Sure."

Jean almost choked on spit as he spluttered at the boy's statement. Smooth, Jean, he thought to himself. Way to win the boy over. To be fair, he really hadn't expected Armin to say yes...much less be so casual about it. Armin's neutral expression hadn't changed once throughout this entire encounter. He simply stood there, examining Jean, not saying a word, even as Jean made a fool of himself and tried to regain control of his tongue, a hard task with Armin's eyes boring into him.

"I'm sorry....what did you say?"

"I said sure." Armin was still looking up into Jean's face, his cool blue eyes still staring down Jean's golden ones. Jean felt like a deer in the headlights, caught in Armin's intense gaze.

"R-really?"

Armin nodded, his short blonde hair bobbing slightly.

Jean blinked owlishly down at Armin. Should he ask why? No, don't be an idiot, then Armin would think he's a total dork, DON'T ask why-

"Why?"

Jean cringed inwardly at how awkward he was being. Dammit, Jean, you went through the thought process, you already decided you wouldn't ask why-

"Well...you asked, right?"

Jean noticed with a start this was the most he had ever heard Armin talk at once.

"And besides, I think you're a decent guy-"

Oh, Jean could feel his heart beating faster when he said that.

"-And I've considered you as a possible love interest before-"

Holy shit, Armin thought about him that way? Jean thought his heart might have abruptly stopped beating, and he had died and gone to heaven.

"-And it was pretty obvious you had feelings for me..."

If Jean wasn't dead already, he definitely died at that point, of embarrassment. Did he hide his crush on Armin that poorly? But he had been so careful!

"-So it would be stupid not to say yes."

Jean forced his brain to shut up for a second and just focus on the fact that Armin Arlert had just agreed to go out with him. As in, dating. Maybe he should check and make sure he wasn't floating, because he felt like he was. Likely a side effect of Armin Arlert-induced heart attacks.

"So...we're like...dating now?" Jean queried.

Armin seemed to think it over for a few moments, then looked back up, a strange gleam in his eyes.

"I think you need to take me out before we can officially be dating." 

Jean nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, sure! Whatever you want! Let's see..." He racked his brain, trying to remember if he was doing anything the next night.

"How about tomorrow night, on Friday? I'll take you out to a movie."

"What movie?"

"Whatever you want to see."

Armin simply nodded in response. "It's a date then."

Evidently, Jean had not died, as he felt his heart begin to flutter in his chest at the idea of going on a date with Armin.

"Uh, can I have your phone number? So I can tell you what time I'm picking you up and...stuff." 

''Sure."

Another one word response, but Jean was too overjoyed to care. Armin recited his number from memory to Jean, who typed it into his phone. When he finished assigning Armin to his contacts, covertly adding a little heart emoji next to his name, he rocked back on his heels, realizing he was now in a somewhat awkward position. It was the end of the day, and most of the students were either rushing out to their cars or their bus (In Jean's case, the former).

"I should go. I have a bus to catch." Armin said after another moment of gazing at Jean. Jean nodded, slightly slack-jawed.

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah." Armin murmured, turning on his platformed heel and walking off, presumably to his bus. Jean watched him walk away for a few moments, then looked down at his phone. Armin's name and number, and the innocuous heart emoji, were still displayed on its LED screen. He grinned, made sure no one was paying attention, then fist-pumped the air, turning around to walk in the opposite direction of his car, though he felt like his feet didn't even touch the ground the whole time.

***

Jean tapped the steering wheel anxiously as he sat outside Armin's house in his car. It wasn't like he was stalking him: Armin had freely given him his address to pick him up at 6:45 to make the 7:00 showing of...something. Armin hadn't actually told Jean what it was he planned on watching with Jean. Hell, Jean didn't even know what was showing in theaters now. Deciding to just trust Armin's judgement, he diverted his attention to Armin's home: It was in an ordinary middle-class neighborhood, with pale gray panels and vibrant red shutters. Despite it only being September, the tree in the front yard looked barren and dead. No flowers or other trees grew near the Arlert residence.

He lives with his grandfather, right? Jean thought, checking the time on his phone: 6:43. They probably just never took the time to garden. Putting the phone back into his pocket, he continued looking towards the house, unable to stop the grin that broke out when he saw Armin scurry out the front door and down the front steps. He looked on, smiling like an idiot all the while, as Armin walked towards his car, opening the door and seating himself next to Jean.

"Hello, Jean." He said in his usual quiet, breathy voice.

"Hi." Jean replied in his awkward tone his vocal cords seemed to reserve for Armin. "So, do you know what you want to see?"

Armin nodded and graced Jean with a small, but bright smile.

"Yeah. I know what I want to see."

***

Jean looked on in shock as the woman on screen had her guts removed from her, spraying the set with blood and entrails, which the monsters lapped up maliciously.

He should've known Armin would want to see a horror flick. What was he expecting, the boy who regularly wore pentagram shirts and eyeball jewelry to want to see a rom-com? Maybe he could've held out hope for watching a sci-fi movie, but now that he was here, he could see how this sort of slasher movie would be appealing to Armin's palette. 

The boy was smiling, not in a creepy way, but in the way of a young child watching their favorite cartoon...which was just as creepy, Jean supposed. He was leaned forward in his seat, hands clasped in his lap as he eagerly watched the events of "Scrambled Legs 3: Return of Evil" play out in front of them. Where everyone in the theater gasped in horror, he didn't react, or if he did, it was with another smile. Whenever the heroine barely escaped the flesh eaters, he frowned slightly, almost as if he were rooting for the cannibals. 

It's just a scary movie, Jean reasoned, flinching as one of the characters was ripped apart. He's just one of those guys that likes monsters and ghosts and stuff. It should've been obvious.

With that in mind, he pushed the thoughts of Armin being some secret serial killer out of his mind. It was now or never. 

Stretching his arms up to the sky, he, as casually as he could, placed one arm around Armin's shoulders, praying to every god he knew of in the meanwhile. Maybe someone was listening, because instead of rejecting the affection, Armin didn't seem to mind. But then again, he seemed pretty enthralled with the movie, so it was possible he hadn't even noticed. To Jean's joy, during one of the movie's duller moments, when Armin was no longer enraptured by it, he still didn't move away. In fact, he relaxed into it, his blond hair only a few inches away from Jean's shoulder. Jean didn't even pay attention to the carnage on screen: He was too busy internally dancing for joy, while doing his best to maintain a calm outward appearance. He didn't want Armin to think he was a freak, after all.

***

It had been a wonderful evening, one of the best of his life, thought Jean as he pulled his Accord up to the front of Armin's house. He realized with a start that the date was over, and he probably wouldn't see Armin until Monday. That should've been obvious, but Jean had a talent for missing the obvious. He tapped the wheel nervously as he waited for Armin to say something.

"I had a nice time." Armin said sweetly, presenting Jean with another shy smile that made his heart somersault. "We should do this again soon."

Jean nodded wordlessly, still in a state of slight disbelief that Armin wanted to go out with him. 

"Yeah, that would be cool." He answered, his eyes not leaving Armin's face.

"How about tomorrow night?"

"Sounds grea-wait, tomorrow? So soon?"

Armin shrugged, cocking an eyebrow and inclining his head slightly. "Why not?"

Jean ran it through his mind. He didn't have anything going on Saturday night-embarrassing though it was-so why not, indeed?

"What do you want to do then?"

Armin gave him a second smile, this one a little more mischievous and upturned than the last.

"I know what we'll do. Just come back over here, 7:00 sharp. Got it?"

Jean nodded, filing the time away in his brain so that he would remember. 

"7:00. Here. Tomorrow night. Got it."

Armin unbuckled his seatbelt and hopped out of the car, leaving Jean only slightly disappointed he didn't get at least a kiss on the cheek. It was only the first date, but...well, never mind that. He would see him again tomorrow.

"Oh, Jean?"

Jean perked up immediately, looking out the car window to see Armin leaning into the car.

"You don't scare easily, do you?"

A little confused by the question, Jean shook his head, receiving a surprisingly wide grin from Armin.

"Good. See you tomorrow night, then."

***

By the time 7:00, Saturday night rolled around, Jean was a nervous bundle of electricity. He spent almost an hour agonizing over his outfit in the mirror ("Shut the hell up, Luka") and brushed his teeth at least ten times. By the time he finally left the house, he was sure his mother and sisters were ready to toss him out. He was excited, extremely excited. But also nervous. What was it Armin wanted to do? A certain answer had come across Jean's mind several times; an answer that left him blushing and even more nervous than before. The way Armin said he knew what they were going to do...asking Jean if he scared easily...holy shit, was this kid some sort of fetishist?! Jean could, unfortunately, picture it very clearly in his mind: Chains, whips, handcuffs Jesus, Mary and Joseph he needed to get those thoughts out of his head before he got to Armin's house.

Oh wait. He was at Armin's house.

Looking at the now somewhat intimidating structure and gulping, he turned off his car and took a deep breath.

"It's okay, Jean. It's probably not what you think it is. Not that you think it's anything. But if you did, it probably isn't that." Jean muttered to himself before finally building up the courage to get out of his car and walk up to the front door, knocking tentatively.

The door was immediately opened by a smiling Armin (Since when did he smile so much?) clad in a long sleeved shirt and ripped skinny jeans that revealed a bit too much milky white flesh than Jean cared for. 

"Come on in." Armin chirped, taking Jean's hand (Another blow to his heart) and pulling him inside. Jean immediately noted how cold the house was, and he shivered slightly, glad he had worn an extra hoodie over his sweater. Armin didn't seem to notice as he led Jean to the staircase and walked him up it.

"Hey Armin, where are we going?" Jean asked, feeling more tense as he hypothesized what the answer would be.

"My bedroom." Armin replied nonchalantly. 

"And...what are we going to do in there?"

"Talk."

Jean wasn't sure whether to be relieved or even more jittery. What was it Armin needed to talk about so badly? Was it something bad? Before he could wonder more about this, Armin had led him to a door at the end of the dim hallway, and pushed it open, leading him inside.

The inside of Armin's room wasn't something Jean thought he would be able to see ever, especially after only taking the boy out once. The decor, surprise surprise, reflected Armin's outer appearance. Lavender walls, dark wooden floors, and black accents everywhere. There was a window seat that showed a view of the neighborhood, complete with a black cushion and matching curtains. Jean could see Armin sitting here and reading for hours on end.

The bed is what Armin, still grasping Jean's hand, pulled him to, seating himself and the taller boy in its edge. He let go of Jean's hand then, sitting criss-cross on it's deep purple comforter, looking up at Jean expectedly.

Jean cleared his throat, leaning back and gazing back at Armin.

"So...what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Armin looked down to his wringing hands in his lap, then looked up again.

"Can you keep a secret?"

What had he gotten himself into.

"Yes."

"You can't laugh."

Jean nodded solemnly, doing his best to look caring.

"I'm a vampire."

Wait.

Jean blinked, his brain going completely blank.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"A vampire. You know, fangs, blood, turning into bats."

"You're..."

Armin raised his eyebrows as Jean tried to piece it together in his brain.

"You're a...vampire?"

"Yes. I've said that twice now."

Jean coughed nervously, beginning to feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Um..."

Armin rolled his eyes.

"I can prove it to you. Watch this."

He opened his mouth up wide, letting his canines grow in length and sharpen into fangs.

It was at that point Jean fainted.

***

Jean groggily opened his eyes a few minutes later, greeted with the sight of a concerned Armin leaning over him, cradling his head gently.

"Jean! Are you okay?"

Jean rubbed his eyes, leaning up slightly with Armin's hand resting on his back.

"I'm sorry. I should've known you would do that. I guess you're not used to vampire anatomy."

Armin had a pink blush covering his cheeks, and his blue eyes were apologetic and wide. Despite everything, Jean had to take a moment to appreciate his expression.

"You're...a...vampire."

"You said that already. Yes, I am. We really do exist." Armin rubbed the back of his neck, looking down on his blanket. "Figured you should know that before we went any further." 

How was he supposed to feel right now? Confused? Well, he certainly was. Frightened? Maybe slightly. But right now, Armin just looked really cute. Like, cuter than normal. Jean internally slapped himself, telling him to get his priorities in check.

"So...you're like a drinks-human-blood vampire? Should I be worried?"

Armin frantically shook his head, waving his hands in front of his face.

"N-no! Not at all! I can usually get blood transfusion packets, I've never drunk straight from someone or anything! I mean, besides not really having to eat except for drinking some blood two or three times a month, and not really needing sleep, I'm just like any other normal teenager!"

Jean cocked an eyebrow and gave him a skeptic look. Armin smiled sheepishly.

"And I can turn into a bat."

"Okay, that's just silly."

"Well, I would show you, but you fainted as soon as I showed you my fangs so that might not be the best idea."

Jean made an indignant noise.

"I wasn't exactly expecting that to happen!"

Armin placed his sleeve-covered hands in front of his mouth, muffling his voice slightly.

"I know. I'm sorry, I really am. But it was easier than showing you the fridge full of blood packets."

At seeing Jean's face pale visibly, he groaned, placing his face in his palms.

"I shouldn't have said that."

Jean exhaled shakily.

"Is there anything else I should know about?"

Armin looked up.

"Well...my vampire instincts are to find a mate...and I sort of latched onto you as one."

Jean felt his blood immediately rush back to his face.

"M-mate? Like, super-boyfriend or something?"

Armin giggled slightly, but trailed off nervously.

"Sort of. I don't really know how to control it. But from what Grandpa told me, it might pass. Not that I want it to." He added hastily. "You could think of it as a guarantee of loyalty."

"So, I'm your soul mate?"

"Whatever phrasing works for you."

Jean was oddly okay with that.

"Also..."

Shit.

"It means I'm going to want to...um..." Armin mumbled something Jean couldn't make out.

"What was that?"

Armin looked mortified, his face as red as Jean's.

"I'll want to..." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm going to want to feed from you."

Jean felt like his heart had stopped.

"Feed? Like, my blood?"

"I wouldn't take a lot!" Armin shouted. Honestly, what had happened to that calm, quiet kid from school?

"I would only need a little bit. To...'Strengthen my bond with you.'". Armin sighed, bowing his head.

"You probably want to leave, huh?"

Jean pursed his lips. This was all beyond bizarre, yes. The idea of having that strong of a bond with Armin was no doubt appealing, but in a terrifying way. And the thought of Armin drinking his blood was even scarier. But...

"I think I'll stay."

Armin looked up, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Really?"

Jean smiled, mustering as much bravery as he could.

"Well, so far, you're worth it."

Armin's blue eyes were shiny with unshed tears as he jumped up and surprised Jean by wrapping his arms around him.

"Thank you so much, Jean!"

 

***

Three Weeks Later

Jean was adjusting to having a vampire as a boyfriend. Slowly, but he was adjusting nevertheless.

Some aspects were more difficult to get used to than others. Armin never sleeping was easier, it meant he always had someone to text late at night. Things like Armin having to apply three layers of sunscreen on even slightly sunny days was a bit of a change, but it paled in comparison to the big separation between vampires and humans.

Drinking blood.

He had only done it once in front of Jean, out of a semi opaque water bottle of all things. Jean had to admit, he had to choke back a bit of bile watching a murky dark fluid flow from the inside of the water bottle into Armin's mouth. It had been really bad when some of it dripped slightly, spilling onto his pale lower lips and staining it a deep red. Armin had taken to carrying breath mints around whenever he had to drink, which thankfully wasn't often. Still, though...that aspect would certainly take time.

Which led him to another adaptation he would have to get used to. Armin hadn't yet asked him about it, but his mind often went back to the conversation they had when he first found out about Armin's vampirism. And on one weekend, when the two had walked down to a park together, he hadn't exactly been subtle in the way he had stared hungrily at Jean's neck. The thought was enough to make Jean shiver. No, offering up his blood, no matter the amount, and no matter how sweet the recipient was, to a vampire didn't sound tempting at all. 

But then again, it was Armin he was talking about here. What had started off as a crush (An embarrassingly huge crush, yes, but still just a crush) had quickly blossomed into feelings of love towards the boy. Armin had been just as sweet to Jean as Jean could have ever hoped, and his wit only sharpened when they started talking together. If it was something Armin needed, he would have no way of refusing it.

I'll just wait for him to ask me, Jean decided as he strolled up to Armin's house on a rainy, windy Saturday evening. He had taken to spending a lot of time there: Armin was excellent at homework help, and the quiet of his house was a welcome change from the usual bustle of the Kirchstein household. He knocked three times, and, as usual, Armin was right there to let him in.

This time, however, Armin was acting a bit different.

No sooner than having closed the front door, Jean immediately found himself pulled by the lapels of his coat into a searing kiss. Having only kissed Armin a few times on the lips, all of them relatively innocent, he found his heart beating faster than was probably healthy as Armin finally broke away, flushed, but only barely panting.

"What the hell, Armin?!"

Armin smiled in a seemingly cherubic way, but Jean could make out a spark of devilish lust behind it. Armin wrapped his arms around Jean, pressing himself into Jean's chest and inhaling deeply.

"You smell good." He mumbled into Jean's sweater, his hands tightening around Jean.

Jean blushed brightly, staring wide-eyed down the hallway as Armin stood up on tiptoes to place his mouth against Jean's again and wrapped his hands around his neck. Jean felt an rush of pleasure jolt through his body when Armin's small, delicate fingers stroked the nape of his neck. Armin pulled apart, his usually clear eyes hazy as he ran one hand down Jean's back and began pressing light kisses down Jean's jawline.

Despite what some of their classmates said, Jean wasn't a complete idiot, and Armin wasn't exactly being subtle at the moment. It wasn't like he had no idea how intimacy between people worked: The thought hit him suddenly (Though Armin's ministrations helped it along) that he might actually have sex with Armin someday. It shouldn't have been a shocking thought, especially since he had felt a similar apprehension just a few minutes ago, but it filled him with a sort of fear he couldn't explain.

Then he noticed Armin's mouth getting closer and closer to his neck, and he was filled with a terror he could explain. 

Jean backed up rapidly, not even bothering to appear graceful as he bumped his head into the closed door and made a noise that sounded like a cross between a yelp and a scream. Yeah, definitely the manliest of them all. Armin, too, had backed up, his eyes now as wide as Jean's and lips parted, making for a rather adorable expression had Jean not been in fear of his life (Armin had fangs, after all, it wasn't that melodramatic of a statement.) 

"Jean, what happened?!" He exclaimed, his body stiffening. "Sorry...I just got kind of excited, but...I was only kissing..."

"Y-you're mouth, was on my...my..." Jean stammered, subconsciously raising his left hand to cover his neck as he tried to form coherent words. Armin suddenly grew even redder and seemed to gain as much function in his mouth as Jean currently had.

"Oh my God, Jean, I'm so, so sorry, I promise I wasn't trying to do...that. I was just happy to see you! I would never do anything like that without asking first!"

Jean's throat still felt dry, so instead he weakly nodded, picking himself up off the door and nervously wetting his lips. Armin was still wearing a mortified expression, one Jean was probably mirroring. He closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and bowed his head.

"I don't know what came over me. It must be an adjustment thing. I'll ask Grandpa about it, but I'm not sure he'll have an answer."

He raised his head up, his blond bangs draping his eyes and framing his face perfectly. 

"You okay, Jean?"

Jean cleared his throat, calming his nerves as best he could and, feeling sufficiently recovered, reached tentatively towards Armin's head and rufled his hair.

"Just...give me a little warning next time, okay?"

Armin nodded fervently, turning to follow Jean further into his house.

The rest of the night it stormed wildly, adding a creepy affect to another one of Armin's horror movies, though this one was less gaudy than the one they had seen on their first date (One Jean hoped never to see, or have to think about in great length, ever again). At one point he had turned to look over at Armin just as a flash of lightning appeared, lighting him up with a translucent white light and making him look terrifyingly beautiful. He had been a little more touchy than usual, insisting that Jean's body always be against his and that their hands always be clasped.

Not that Jean minded. It's just that Armin's skin was very cold.

***

Turns out, it hadn't just been that night. Ever since he practically jumped Jean, Armin had become quite a bit bolder, a big change from his usual introverted self. He was cool as a cucumber during their classes, sure, never giving off a hint to the wildness underneath. But as soon as they were in private he became a demonic ball of sexual frustration. Kissing Armin was nice, obviously, and it wasn't like that was the only thing they ever did (Jean thought back to a heated game of Scrabble and meeting Armin's Persian cat Khoshekh). No, the kissing and cuddling and general fluff wasn't the problem. It was the fact that sometimes Armin did things like shift his weight into Jean's lap or make a snide innuendo, and sometimes he did other things like casually remark about turning into a bat (Jean was glad he had yet to witness that) or taking a packet of O- out of the fridge (Something Jean didn't want to see, much less be directly involved in). Armin was in no way an ordinary boyfriend. He was a wonderful boyfriend, but boy, was he strange, and the thought of him doing something so morbid as drink his living, human boyfriend's blood for sustenance made Jean feel dizzy. And no, Armin hadn't even come close to that since that precarious moment weeks before when his lips where perched just above Jean's jugular, though he had ventured the idea to Jean a few times, to be met with nervous avoidance of the topic.

He was sitting next to Armin, working on English homework as he thought about it, stealing a quick glance at the boy who was intently working on his own schoolwork. He had a habit of twirling his hair as he worked out the answers, a habit Jean found to be particularly enthralling. Armin had one blonde strand wrapped around his index finger as he wrote out equations onto his looseleaf. Beginning to feel Jean's eyes on him, he looked up questioningly.

"What is it?"

Jean looked back down at his paper, coughing into his hand.

"Nothing. I'm almost done here."

Armin shrugged and went back to work as Jean wrestled with the situation in his head. Maybe he wanted to drink his blood, but he was so perfect in every other way.

***

"Jean, trust me, it's really simple-"

"Armin, no,"

"-It wouldn't hurt at all, I wouldn't even need that much-"

"Please, Armin,"

"-It's not like I just bite in, I can get a syringe if you want-"

"Armin, this isn't a normal conversation."

"-And I won't need to do it often, either, at least I don't think I will..."

"Do we have to talk about this right now?"

Armin frowned, stamping his sock covered foot on the hardwood floor of his kitchen.

"Yes, we do! We keep avoiding this, but I need to drink your blood! It's not like I'd be bleeding you dry or anything!"

"Well, sorry, I'm not exactly used to donating blood for it's direct consumption!"

"We've been together for months, Jean, how long is it going to take you to get accustomed to my vampirism?"

"I don't know, should I consult the Internet? 'How do I get used to the fact that my boyfriend consumes human blood?', does that sound like a good search to you?! Normal humans don't even consider the idea that vampires exist, it might take a little while to adjust!"

They were both shouting at this point, annoying Khoshekh greatly as he tried to sleep on the countertop.

"Well, you better adjust quickly, because not having any of your blood in me is starting to wear me down!"

Before Jean could even think of replying, he stopped suddenly, feeling a gnawing sense of guilt rush through him. He suddenly noticed the dark circles under Armin's eyes discoloring his immaculate skin, and remembered how drained Armin seemed to be lately, choosing to lie down and read rather than tease Jean. He was never exactly the most energetic of people, but he seemed almost tired. And vampires weren't supposed to get tired, were they?

Armin bit his lip and looked down at his feet. 

"My body is craving your blood, and being so close to you, all the time, it's only making it worse. I can feel myself getting more fatigued every day."

Despite his dread at the thought of having his blood be drunk, at that last sentence, Jean could feel his heart shatter. So it really had been his fault the whole time. Armin was suffering because of him. He was a terrible boyfriend.

"I know it's not what you're used to, but it's something that I need. I would rather not have to try and force it out of you, Jean, I wouldn't want to hurt you like that."

Jean shook his head, deciding now was the time to man up and do something right for once.

"You won't have to. I'll..." He breathed in a shaky breath. "I'll let you take some of my blood."

Armin looked up, a smile spreading across his face.

"Jean, do you really mean that?"

Jean smiled back, pleased at Armin's happiness.

"Hell yeah. If I couldn't do this, what kind of boyfriend would I be?"

***

Jean gulped as Armin took a single needle out of a kitchen drawer (Seriously, who the hell would keep syringes in their kitchen?) and made his way towards him. 

"Just close your eyes and pretend you're getting a shot at the doctor's."

Not helping, Armin, Jean thought. He probably shouldn't have been so antsy at the idea of giving up some blood, but when his mind cut to a shot of Armin licking his blood off his lips, well, that was a problem.

"Jean?"

Armin was standing above Jean, who was seated at the kitchen table.

"You ready?"

"How much are you going to take again?"

Armin held up the syringe, which seemed to look a bit larger than it actually was as he showed it to Jean.

"Just enough to fill this. Not a whole lot."

He took a seat next to Jean, briefly taking a hold of his hand and squeezing it.

"Are you sure you know where to put that thing? I don't want to die of blood loss because you messed something up."

Armin rolled his eyes, lifting up Jean's arm and rolling the sleeve up.

"Don't be silly. Grandpa taught me how to do this when I was young, so I could get blood safely in an emergency."

Obviously. Of course he learned how to take blood from people as a kid. Armin was making his family out to be more macabre by the second.

Armin placed the needle to Jean's forearm.

"You ready?"

Jean nodded. 

"As I'll ever be."

That being said, Armin pushed the needle in through the correct spot, filled the needle up, then withdrew, and dabbed at the small spot of blood on Jean's arm with a tissue.

"See? Simple."

Jean laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, maybe I made a bit of a big deal out of it."

"Well, don't look now..."

Jean cringed as Armin set what appeared to be a shot glass onto the counter. He always imagined them being filled with some sort of liquor he would be drinking at a cool party, not being filled with his blood for his vampire boyfriend to drink.

As Armin emptied the contents of the syringe, he looked up at Jean, raising an eyebrow at seeing him watch.

"You don't have to look, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Jean pushed the coil of discomfort in his stomach down. "But I think I should get used to this."

Armin smiled sweetly at him, picking the glass up and raising it up (Lord, everything in this situation was morbid). 

"To the best boyfriend I could ask for."

Jean tried to focus on that as Armin downed the glass. 

Yeah, it was a bit weird, and yeah, it sort of made Jean's skin crawl, just a bit. But seeing Armin visibly brighten afterwards, well...

Now that wasn't so bad, was it.

***

"Armin, get off!"

Armin giggled as Jean struggled, to no avail, to get away from the blonde boy straddling his hips.

"C'mon, Jean, it's winter! It's cold! We have to keep each other warm!"

"But you're skin is fucking freezing!"

Armin smiled impishly, leaning his face down towards an extremely red Jean.

"You're just gonna have to warm me up, then, aren't you?"

Jean's face became even more red. Months into their relationship, and he still could barely handle Armin when he got like this.

"You're insane!"

At that, Armin gave a warm laugh.

"You're the one dating a vampire! I can turn into a bat, you know. I've drunk you're blood."

Jean groaned, knocking his head against the bed's headboard.

"What was I thinking when I asked you out. You're a psychopath."

"I'm your psychopath, though."

"Armin, that's not a good thing."

Armin pulled his legs in so that they intertwined with Jean's and lay his body down on top of Jean's, his chin resting right in Jean's chest.

"Being yours is."

Jean spluttered at the statement, and Armin mentally gave himself a pat on the back for that cheesy line that made Jean even more embarrassed. Cheesy, yeah, but Jean was really cute when he got all flustered.

Armin closed his eyes, nestling his chin head underneath Jean's chin.

"How about we get some sleep, hm?"

"You don't sleep. Ever."

"For now let's pretend I do." 

Armin reached over and turned off the light, filling the room with a cool darkness.

"G'night Armin." Jean mumbled, already feeling his eyelids getting heavy.

"Goodnight Jean. See you in the morning."

Armin curled against Jean and took the time to enjoy his scent, his warmth, his calm, sleepy breath. Armin smiled and wrapped himself closer to him, his eyes still closed, not sleeping, but merely content to stay close to Jean until he woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song by The Birthday Party, which is a lovely song I suggest you all listen to it. While talking about copyright, Armin's cat, Khoshekh, was a nod to Welcome to Night Vale's Khoshekh, since a. Night Vale is great, one of my number one fandoms everyone alive should listen to it, b. Khoshekh is Hebrew for Darkness...or something. I thought that suited the mood. and c. I couldn't think of anything else. Also, Jean and Armin aren't mine, they belong to Hajime Isayama, so he better take good care of them. The movie title, "Scrambled Legs" *snort* came from Tumblr user thefandomshaveinvaded. I was asking for cheesy cannibal horror movie names, this is what you get. 
> 
> Idk why I really like the idea of a pastel goth Armin. I like the fashion in general, so I think I decided to make my adoptive son emulate it. I may or may not be living vicariously through my fanfictions.
> 
> So this was basically just author-satisfying satirical fluff, but at least I did my darn best to make it quality author-satisfying satirical fluff. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed.


End file.
